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written by Filbertfox Episode Seven - Playing With FireSynopsisLater that night, Shell tries to wind Nikki up but Nikki is on to her particular game and refuses to rise. Luckily for Nikki, Dominic intervenes and then tells Nikki that she should be grateful to Helen for putting such a lot of faith in her. Nikki is confused... Nikki: Suddenly the place is awash with nice screws. Bodybag will be bringing me cups of tea next. The following morning, Sean is having a few second thoughts about his talk at the prison that day...
Sean: Do you think they'll like me? Lorna arrives at the prison with more jellies, this time hidden in a tube of smarties. Fenner nearly catches her in the act when he asks for one making it clear that he prefers the 'blue ones'...not the right sort of thing to say to someone who's absolutely shitting herself about the 'blue ones'. Fenner walks away happy with his smartie and Lorna heaves a sigh of relief. Sean, meanwhile, is giving his talk and holds up a pair of bulbs...
Sean: If you look you can see a lot of root growth. ...Shell continues to disrupt the talk until Nikki steps in...
Nikki: Shut it Shell! Some of us are interested in this. ...Sean ploughs on and is then interrupted again, this time by Denny who wants to go to the toilet... 
Denny: Can I take some toilet paper? ...Shell is silenced and Sean smiles at Nikki gratefully. Back on the wing, Shell isn't in a good mood and is not very impressed with the paltry amount of jellies Lorna has smuggled in. Shell demands more but Lorna tells her that her mum hasn't got anymore, Shell don't give a shit about that and demands more...Lorna leaves the cell close to tears and without a clue about what she's going to do next.  After the talk, Sean thanks Nikki for sticking up for him, Helen walks in and tells Nikki that Sean is her 'partner', Nikki, understandably, is upset, especially when Sean announces that they are to be married. Helen decides to change the subject...
Helen: So how did you enjoy the class Nikki? ...Nikki walks off and Helen listens to the sound of her flip-flops echoing down the corridor looking like she's been slapped in the face with a wet trout. Up on G3, sharp-eyed Dom notices a steady flow of visitors into Shell's cell and twigs immediatly that she must have a stash in there. He grabs a passing Lorna and insists that they search the cell there and then, Shell aint that impressed but her mood lightens when she sees Lorna, surely her pet screw will look after her. Meanwhile, back in the potting-shed... 
Nikki: Here comes the blushing bride to be. Kept that quiet didn't you?
...Nikki grabs Helen's right hand and places it on her left boob. Helen, not surprisingly, receives the shock of her lifetime... Helen: Jesus Christ! ...and leaves the potting shed. Okay, so Nikki obviously did the wrong thing, grabbing someone's hand and putting it on your tit is a bit of a caveman way of letting them know that you're interested, but, at least we can be glad that Nikki didn't decide to grab Helen by her hair and drag her into the potting-shed... [Ivanova's notes: It certainly makes any guerilla kiss pale in comparison...] But, having said all that, Helen did bring it on herself...you can't expect to flirt with a woman who obviously hasn't had it in years and not expect for her to take it the wrong way...baaaaaaad move Helen!  We then see scenes that show Nikki in the potting-shed and absolutely livid with herself for losing control...and scenes of a shellshocked Helen in her office, obviously feeling a right tit, or a left one!!!! Finally, Helen gives in and asks for Nikki to be brought to her office. Back up on G3, the search of Shell's cell is proving fruitless and Lorna gives up...Dom though, decides to take one last look around and his eyes fall on the cage of Shell's canary...BINGO!!! He finds the jellies in the food dish and runs off to report Shell...Shell insists that Nikki must have planted them there and warns Lorna that she'd better sort this out, or else!!! Meanwhile, up in Helen's office... 
Nikki: Look, i'm sorry, I was out of order, I was just... ...Sorry to say it Helen but we did warn you!!! Dominic shows Fenner the jellies he found in Shell's cell and Fenner's first reaction is to have a go at Dom for not letting him know that he was going to give her cell a spin. Faced with such a huge amount of evidence, Fenner has no choice but to go and have a go at Shell. Fenner has a go at Shell who blames Nikki and then Lorna for planting the stuff in her cell, Fenner doesn't believe her and is obviously angry that she didn't think to tell him that she was dealing from her cell...Fenner throws the book at her and then chucks her across her cell, Shell is left sobbing on the floor. Lorna is sweating for news from Fenner and is incredibly relieved to discover that Fenner didn't believe a word that Shell was telling him. At dinnertime, Monica tells Nikki and Crystal about how hopeful she is about getting out on appeal. Crystal, being Crystal, points out that Monica is a white woman, and if she was black she would be left in prison to rot. Monica tells Crystal that she knows she's 'one of the lucky ones' and this seems to appease her... Crystal: I'll say a prayer for you. Only He can save you, Him and a good barrister! Lorna goes to see Shell, not knowing that Shell told Fenner about her bringing the drugs in only for him to tell her to stop bullshitting. Shell plays a very clever game by telling Lorna that she decided not to drop her in it and didn't mention her name to Fenner...Lorna is obviously grateful and at least Shell manages to keep her pet screw.
Back at home, Helen, desperately trying to prove to herself that Nikki means nothing to her, finally accepts Sean's marriage proposal. The following day, Shell is told that she is going to lose her job in the kitchens and moved back down to basic...Poor Shell, her move down to basic is not a dignified experience, especially when a delighted Nikki sticks her oar in...  Nikki: Off on your holidays Shell? ...and Crystal... Crystal: That's what you get for being an evil bitch Dockley! You should've put her in solitary and chained her to the wall! ...Dear dear, how the mighty have fallen! Shell's new cell is nothing compared to her old one on enhanced...
Shell: I can't stay in here it's horrible! ...even poor Charlie the canary don't look too happy with his new surroundings... Dominic: Now I know what singing like a canary means! ...oh dear, looks like the birdwoman of Larkhall might be reaching the end of her tether, let's hope that poor Charlie doesn't end up suffering for it! Monica is very pleased to hear that she qualifies for a home visit and starts to point out to Helen the huge difference she's making and tells her how much faith the women have in her, even Nikki...  Nikki: Oh yeah, loads of faith! ...By the way, spot the overacting by the extra Nikki is chatting to during this cringesome display of crawling on Monica's behalf. Denny comes across Shell cradling poor dead Charlie in her hands and offers her deepest sympathy...
Denny: Christ Shell! What happened to Charlie? ...When Denny has gone, Shell proves how much she's really going to miss Charlie by flushing the poor little thing down the bog. Yet again...after lock-up the inmates begin shouting to each other...
Denny: Love you Shell! Screen grabs courtesy of SimoneLahbib.net; thanks, SLN! © 2000-2003 (texts) are with the author. If not otherwise stated, the author is Ivanova. All rights reserved. |
Nikki: You wanna know what this is about? It's about this...