DykesVision / TV Shows / Bad Girls / Episodes / 1-10: Love Hurts 2

written by Filbertfox

Episode Ten - Love Hurts

Synopsis

...Monica falls unconscious and Nikki runs off to get the Julies, the three of them try their best to revive Monica, Nikki, as always, is very sympathetic...

Nikki: Listen you selfish bitch! You're going to drink this water and then
you're going to start walking!

Down on the Wing, the choir are tuning their guitars while Bodybag looks on, stony faced...

Yvonne: Look at old Bodybag over there, got a face like a busted arsehole!

...Crystal is doing the rounds to make sure that everyone is playing the right chord...

Crystal: What chord do you think that is then?
Zandra: (shrugs) Chord Z?
Crystal: There aint no chord Z.
Zandra: Sounds like there are loads to me.

...Zandra has definitely got a point, especially when Crystal leads the choir in a rendition of 'Kumbyah' that is so awful it threatens to strip the paint from the walls.

All the noise does have some benefits though, no one can hear what's going on in Monica's cell as Nikki and the Julies force feed her cold coffee in an attempt to make her puke.

Down on basic, Shell is heard instructing Dawn...

Shell: You know what to do.

...Dawn runs off to do her mistresses bidding...what's Shell up to now?? Anyway, Denny decides to cheer Shell up...

Denny: Wish you'd come and sing with us Shell, we're all crap. Shell: Yeah, well tough tits, now sod off!

Back up on G3, the Julies are worried, the coffee isn't working and they persuade Nikki that there's nothing more they can do, it's time to call for a screw. Just as Nikki is out of the door, Monica starts to puke...

Julie S: Oh, what a fantastic sound!
Julie J: Fantastic!

...the Julies hug each other while Nikki looks on the verge of collapsing
with relief.

Fenner retreats to the officers room to read his 'Anglers Times', well, we knew he was a sad bastard, that's just reinforced it...Dawn is hovering in the background and clears away the plastic envelope Fenner's mag has been posted in, she pockets it, so, that's what Shell's up to, she wants Fenner address.

Bodybag, sick of the bloody racket, brings the choir practise to a close but still refuses to sign the petition, well Sylv, seeing as guitars are allowed as an 'in-cell hobby', let's just hope you remembered to bring your earplugs with you.

Helen pops along to Monica's cell and finds the Julies and Nikki in a worried huddle around Monica who is concious but looks like shit. The Julies try to explain it away as 'pre-trial nerves' but Helen obviously knows better...

Helen: Did Monica take an overdose?
Nikki: What?
Helen: I want a straight answer Nikki.
Nikki: Straight!
Helen: She could've died and you took that risk with her. I don't understand,
how could you have been so irresponsible?
Nikki: Oh Jesus!
Helen: What the hell were you thinking of?
Nikki: You!
Helen: What?
Nikki: I did it to protect you.

After enduring a solo rendition of 'Kumbayah' by Yvonne, Bodybag finally agrees to sign the petition.

Helen arrives back home and Sean is still going on about the wedding, honestly, what a girlie!!! Anyway, Helen tells him a complete untruth about Nikki, saying that she dragged her into her cell and tried to kiss her...why on earth would she tell Sean something like that??? Do you think she might be feeling guilty or something?

The next day, Monica stops to see Nikki before leaving for her appeal, Nikki is obviously still very shaken by what Monica tried to do and Monica tries to apologise...

Monica: I don't know what to say.
Nikki: Well how about starting with I feel bloody ashamed of myself? Look
around you Monica, look at all of these women stuck in here, they'd give
anything to be in your shoes today. Look at the Julies, Julie J, she's lost
her 3 kids to that bastard husband, Zandra, you've seen the hell she's been
through - beaten up, dumped by her fiance, what a great start for a baby.
Denny, she's had her whole life wasted, she'll be in and out of here forever,
and me Monica, do you know what it feels like to have to face another 10
years of this? But we all struggle along trying to make the best of things,
and when someone like you comes along says that they'd rather be dead
than free? I'm sorry, but everyone who gets out of here gets out for all of
us.

...Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant acting by Mandana Jones, what a woman!!!!

Anyway, Helen arrives to take Monica off for her appeal, and when Monica goes off for a hug from the Julies, Helen tries to talk to Nikki...

Helen: Nikki, look, don't think that I condone what you did last night but
I am grateful.
Nikki: (standing up) Oh don't bother! (does her Tracy Barlow impression
and storms off to her cell)

...Anyway, the Wing says goodbye and good luck to Monica, even Denny
has a kind word to say...

Denny: Oi posh bitch, good luck!

Shell is writing a letter, oh, it's for Mrs Fenner, so that's what she wanted his address for...she obviously wants to swap tips on how to keep your man happy!!

Shell goes off to fix it with Denny to get the letter posted and then goes off for a shag with Fenner who seems to have forgiven her...yuk! Does the woman never learn her lesson???

The screws have wheeled a telly onto the wing so that the inmates can hear the news about Monica's appeal...the news comes on and it's official, Monica has been cleared...before the wing can go up like a rocket, Monica reads her statement to the waiting press...

Monica: Before I went to prison, I imagined that criminal women were monsters or lunatics, I was wrong. Most of the women I met, and without whom I could not have survived, are warm, intelligent, funny. Many will have been seperated from their children, some, like me will lose them forever, many are drug addicts and need rehabilitation, many are the victims of abusive men, they need love and support, not strip searching and bullying. In my opinion, prison, as punishment, only makes bad situations worse.

The wind erupts as Monica turns to hug Helen, as she does this, Nikki's tearful face can be seen reflected in the TV screen.

Helen runs off for her rendezvous with Sean the wanker in the tailors where he is buying his wedding suit...let's hope he strangles himself with his tie!!!, anyway, Helen obviously needs to tell Sean something in private but he doesn't want to leave the shop and is obviously hell-bent on making a public spectacle of himself...

Sean: What is the matter? Tell me Helen!
Helen: I can't marry you. I'm really sorry.
Sean: What are you talking about?
Helen: Look, can we get out of here?
Sean: What do you mean you can't marry me? Why not?
Helen: Because I don't love you.

...Helen leaves the shop and a stunned Sean behind her...women all around the country are cheering....she ditched the twat!! YAY!!!

Okay, so we go from Sean and Helen's embarrassment to our own as the G-Wing girls give us a cringe-making rendition of 'I Will Survive' while all dancing like loonies. Dominic is obviously enjoying the spectacle but is interrupted by Fenner who tells him that something has arrived for him at the front gate. Dominic goes off to investigate and Yvonne looks on with a very sly grin on her face...what is she up to now?

Meanwhile, after a lightning return to her office, Helen is removing her engagement ring...oh well love, it looked like a cheap piece of tat anyway!!

Down at the gate, Dominic receives his birthday present, a brand spanking new motorbyke with an accompanying card that says 'Biker boy'...Just as Dominic walks back inside the gate, Sean arrives in his truck and is allowed to drive through to the gardens on the pretense of doing a job for Helen...what is he up to???

There are more embarrassing scenes on the wing as the girls dance on the landings in a routine led by the Julies...no, it couldn't be, could it??? Nikki, the mistress of all that is cool...joining in????? ARRRGGHHHH!!!

Anyway, luckily for Nikki's reputation, Bodybag spots Sean out in the garden and the inmates congregate at the window to see what's happening.

Sean has decided to make a scarecrow out of his wedding suit before splashing it with lighter fuel. Helen arrives and Sean sets light to the suit before dropping a set of keys at Helen's feet and walking away. Helen's humiliation is complete when the inmates start shouting...she catches Nikki's eye and then walks away.

After lock-up, Helen leaves the prison just as the inmates start shouting to each other...

Zandra: Hey Julies! Know any good busting up with your boyfriend songs?
Both Julies: You kidding? You name it, we know it, we've lived it!
Yvonne: Yeah, but do you know the chords?

And just why is Nikki sitting in her cell with a very smug smile on her face??

...Well, bye bye girls, until next series anyway...

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