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written by Filbertfox Episode Eight - Falling ApartSynopsis ...But it seems that our Nikki has a plan and as Bodybag swings the door open, she can't help but be shocked by the sight of Nikki and Julie S both without tops.... neither can Julie J, her face is a picture in the background...
Bodybag: I knew you were up to something yesterday! ...Bodybag is shocked and acts all disgusted but you can't help but notice the way her eyes linger over Nikki's magnificent busom... well, whose wouldn't??? An unspecified length of time later, Monica is summoned to Helen's office to hear the very sad news that Spencer has died. Monica is absolutely devastated and blames herself for not being there. Monica is taken back to her cell and is given a sedative, Helen stays with her until she falls asleep and then puts her to bed. The following day, Helen tells the other officers about what has happened and tells them to grant every 'reasonable' request she makes, she also puts Monica on suicide watch...even Fenner is concerned, Bodybag isn't though... Bodybag: Utmost respect! Just 'cause she's posh! To me, a con is a con is a con and they don't get any special mollycoddling.  ...Helen, as always in times of trouble, goes to see Nikki in her cell, Nikki, even though she's wearing that wonderfully gorgeous white vest and looking her magnificent best, isn't pleased to see her... Nikki: They'd never been apart, not once, in 30 years.
Helen: I know, I know everything that you're going to say and I agree.
You're going to tell me that Spencer was serving a sentence too and
that now he's dead because of it? I know that, I do know.
Helen: I know what she's going through, that's why i've come to see you.
To ask you to be a good friend to her because she needs one just now.
Alright? 
Helen: Oh I didn't come here for a debate! (Leaves the cell and locks
the door) ...Helen looks very upset as she walks away. Back at home that night, selfish bastard Sean goes on about plans for the wedding and a visit to his parents that Saturday. Helen realises that she's supposed to be taking Monica to Spencer's funeral on that day and tells Sean that she can't go with him. Sean, the twat, isn't very understanding and huffs and puffs before going off to phone his parents. The following day, at breakfast, the Julies are worried about Monica, Shell notices their long faces...
Shell: What's up with you lot? Up in Monica's cell, Nikki is trying her best to comfort Monica who is clinging onto the jumper she was knitting for Spencer. Nikki decides to go and get some flowers from the garden when Julie J arrives to do her bit and presents Monica with a pair of tights (so she can look her best at the funeral) and tells her that they've decided to hold a wake for Spencer and crack open the Chateau Larkhall in his honour because... Julie J: We all love you Monica and we want you to know that we care. ...Awwwww, it would bring tears to a glass eye! The Julies put their plan into action and butter up a surprisingly sensitive Fenner who agrees to let them hold a wake in their cell, believing their tales about tea, biscuits and the odd hymn, more fool him!!! Meanwhile, Nikki arrives back from the garden with some flowers for Monica and runs into Helen on the landing...
Helen: How is she? ...Helen walks off, a tad disgusted by Nikki's comment and Nikki is left with her flip-flops firmly in her mouth again...When will she learn to engage brain before using gob? Anyway, Bodybag seems to take exception to the flowers...
Bodybag: Where do you think you're going with them? Denny, silly girl, tells Shell that the hooch is going to be opened after the funeral...Shell is locked up then with a very thoughtful look on her face...wonder what she's up to now?  Monica and Helen leave for the funeral and Helen, very sheepishly, is forced to put the handcuffs on, much to Monica's sister's disapproval. Helen finally relents and takes the handcuffs off. The funeral is a complete tear-jerker, especially when, after the service, Monica jumps into the grave and hugs Spencer's coffin. Back at Larkhall, the Julies have a cunning plan to put to Nikki about the hooch, you know, they'd make a perfect pair of Baldricks...
Julie S: You do a relay, backwards and forwards, filling up your flask
until everyone on the wing has got some. ...Oh dear, it seems that Nikki is unable to turn down a woman who begs for it!!! Meanwhile, the mistress of distress, Shell Dockley, sneaks off in search of brownie points and tells Fenner about the hooch in hopes that it will help her get back on enhanced. Fenner turns over the potting-shed but doesn't notice the watering-can bubbling in the pile of compost...the potting-shed is clean and Fenner is not pleased...Shell suffers, yet again... Fenner: This is the second time you've made me look stupid you mad cow! ...Poor Shell never learns... Shell: Wanna shag? ...and is given a right ear-bashing. Oh dear, all is not well on the cunning plan front. The Julies throw a rope made out of blankets down to Nikki in the garden who attachs the watering-can to it. The Julies pull it up...DUH! How you gonna get it through the bars Julies???...
Julie J: Oh shitty shitty shit, damn! Julie S comes up trumps yet again and suggests that they fill cups and ferry it over to the sink, a sort of makeshift punch-bowl ala Armitage Shanks. Meanwhile, the wine is tested...
Julie S: What's it look like? Down at dinner, Nikki tells the Julies that Shell snitched on them and then goes to have a few choice words with Shell... Nikki: You're losing your grip Dockley! ...The Julies, totally over-excited, ask Nikki if she's coming to the wake, Nikki, after all her hard work, declines the invitation...bloody good job too! By the way Julie J reacted it looks as if anyone who drinks that stuff is going to need a cast iron stomach lining...as the gang discover when they drink it... Shell: That is disbleedinggusting! ...Bodybag senses that something is afoot when she hears hysterical laughter coming from the Julie's cell... Bodybag: Doesn't sound much like a wake to me! ...But then jumps to attention when she sees Helen letting Monica back on the wing. Bodybag then tootles off to see what's happening and enters the cell to find the gang praying....Shell? Praying? Surely she must smell a rat???....Brilliant site to look out for here by the way...Crystaaaal praying very convincingly but swaying on her chair and then Denny hiccuping. Ye olde Bodybag's face is a picture but there ain't much she can prove, even when the obviously reeling about drunk inmates are sent back to their cells... Bodybag: You've all got the screaming hab-dabs! Wake indeed, wake my backside!!!  Helen leaves Monica in her cell and goes over to speak to Nikki when she hears her calling out to Monica to check that she's okay, there then follows a brief conversation through Nikki's cell door... Helen: Nikki, I think she needs some time on her own. 
Helen: I think I do as well. ...and both stand at their respective sides of the door and about a million words are spoken silently. Ladies and gentleman, Helen Stewart has left the building... Screen grabs courtesy of SimoneLahbib.net ; thanks, MJNet! © 2000-2003 (texts) are with the author. If not otherwise stated, the author is Ivanova. All rights reserved. |