Episode Two - Drug Wars

Awards

written by Filbertfox
(Original concept by Coops)

Top Dog of the Week

Monica. On her first day on the Wing, she slaps Denny, comes to Zandra's rescue and orders Nikki about...all in a nice way of course, then she steps in to provide a posh voice for the Julies.

Twatting Twat of the Week

Shell for forcing Rachel to write a letter to the DST, tipping them off that Nikki has drugs in her cell

Dominic for lingering on the landing to get an eyeful of a: naked Nikki.

Weedy Pigeon of the Week

Zandra. For being decrutched....yuk!!!

Spin Doctor of the Week

Hmmm....has to go to the Julies this week for the enthusiastic way they list Larkhall's good points...:

Julie S: "It's not all that bad. Nice people.":
Julie J: "Nice people."
Julie S: "Nice sewing room."
Julie J: "Nice sewing room."
Julie S: "Very nice mushroom quiche."
Julie J: "Very nice mushroom quiche, when we have it."
Julie S "When we have it. It's not all bad Monica."

Worst Girl of the Week

Scary DST woman for making Nikki squat over a mirror.

Best Line of the Week

Blooming loads, our cup runneth over this week...:

"What would be interesting is if it didn't take half a day to go through this BORING BOLLOCKS"

Bodybag: "See the attitude? As if it's the highlight of my day to peer up women's smelly bottoms!"

The bulk of the honours go to Nikki though...

Nikki: "Sorry, I thought you were a man, sorry miss."

Nikki: "God, it must drive you mad not being allowed to touch me."

Nikki: "Just piss off out of my space!"

Nikki: "Who the hell do you think I am? Head bloody prefect?"

Shell: "Oi Wade! Did you have a good time with the squat squad?"

Nikki: "Yeah, fantastic. Well, I did with the good looking one!"

Worst Line of the Week

Both go to the scary DST woman...

"Strip!"

"Legs apart, squat down!"

Both lines are scary enough to send shivers down your spine.

Warring Faction of the Week

Shell and Zandra, Zandra has the drugs and Shell wants them, by any means necessary.

Sight of the Week

The infamous decrutching scene.

Scary DST woman.....ewwwwww!

Nikki in the nude!!!!! Well, from the back, but you do get to see: her bottom and the suggestion of a magnificent busom.

Zandra all sulky in her bathrobe.

Larkhall Miracles and Mysteries

That ITV actually allowed them to screen the decrutching scene.

How Rachel still manages to fall under Fenner's spell despite warnings from Nikki and Shell...is the woman deaf or just plain stupid???

How the wardrobe woman managed to provide the sort of hideous bathrobe that nightmares are made of for Nikki to wear and still managed to hang onto her job.

Helen thinking that Nikki would be impressed with her tough stance on drugs after her cell has been ripped apart and she's had to squat over a mirror.

What on earth did the DST need an electric screwdriver for??? The mind boggles!!!

To be continued...

Screen grabs courtesy of SimoneLahbib.net, except for no. 3, which is from BadGirlsWeb. Thanks, Jayne and Sparks! © 2000-2003 (texts) are with the author. If not otherwise stated, the author is Ivanova. All rights reserved.