Episode One - Them and UsAwards written by Filbertfox Top Dog of the Week Nikki Wade of course. From the moment she storms down those stairs to confront Helen it's pretty obvious that in order to gain G-Wing's respect you must first gain Nikki's. The Julies gain a mention here for sending Dawn down the block with a goody bag for Nikki. Twatting Twat of the Week Fenner of course, not content with shagging Shell Dockley, he's now letching over newcomer Rachel Hicks. He also gets bad marks for trying to nobble Helen by running to Stubberfield to tell tales. Bodybag is in a very close second place here for ignoring Carol's pleas to see the doctor just 'cause she wants to get home to Bobby and his braised meatballs. Sean...well, just because really...how dare he call Helen a 'sulky bitch' and then demand a shag!!!! Weedy Pigeon of the Week Carol. For being left to bleed half to death and miscarry her baby in her cell by Bodybag. Spin Doctor of the WeekHelen. For persuading Nikki to talk to the wing and give her go ahead for the fashion show. Worst Girl of the Week Shell Dockley for unmerciful bullying of Rachel and for even daring to refuse Nikki any dinner when she's down the block. Best Line of the WeekSlim pickings with it being the first episode... Helen: "Please Jim, i'm not the bloody queen" Helen: "More VIPs out front than Vivian Westwood" Shell: "Deep down i've got a great big soft spot for you Rachel and I can't wait to gob it in your face!" Worst Line of the Week Sean: "Fancy a shag?" Julies: "Dominic super dick, you're the one we'd love to lick" Purely for cringe value of course!!! Warring Faction of the Week Helen and Nikki, from the moment they first confronted each other over a crowded landing it was chemistry...oh well, they say the course of true love never runs smooth!!! Sight of the Week Helen and her dodgy application of mascara. Bodybag having to wash down Smelly Nellie. Helen eating that digestive biscuit...i'm not a great Helen fan but I have to admit that she has a very appealing nibble! The Julies in their face packs. Cringesome fashion show scenes. Larkhall Miracles and MysteriesJust how did the paramedics manage to sneak Carol down from her cell on G3 without taking her down the stairs? Why didn't Shell kill the Julies for giving Smelly Nellie her dress? Just how did Nikki manage to hide the rubbish from her goody bag down on the block without any of the screws noticing?? Did she crutch it?? Screen grabs courtesy of SimoneLahbib.net, except for no. 3, which is from BadGirlsWeb. Thanks, Jayne and Sparks! © 2000-2003 (texts) are with the author. If not otherwise stated, the author is Ivanova. All rights reserved. |