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written by Margaret Royal

Love, Lies and Voldemort

The Lianca Recaps

Monday, September 15, 2003

At the penthouse, Bianca confirms to Erica that she hasn't yet decided what she's going to do about her pregnancy. "I see," Erica replies, and doesn't know what else to say. Bianca thinks she's still got a lot to sort out, and that's why she went for counseling. Erica agrees but is tongue-tied again. Bianca looks around, then stands. Erica rises with her and apologizes; she doesn't want Binks to think that she "assumed anything" (although she did). Binks avers that she was "very unclear," which is why she went to the hospital for more information, and she got brochures (the ones Maria gave her, which she pulls out of her bag and shows Erica). Erica thinks that's good, and hopes that Bianca will talk to her, too, because she knows what she's going through and would do anything to make her feel better and safer. Binks knows. But she says the brochures are good and answer her questions, and that "there are basically three options" for someone in her situation—abortion, adoption, or keeping the kid and raising it herself. "You would actually consider keeping the child yourself?" Erica blurts. "Michael Cambias's child?" Bianca looks weary but still surprised by Erica's reaction. Commercials.

Erica apologizes to Bianca and explains that she was taken by surprise with the whole raising Michael Cambias's child thing. Binks prefers that she not apologize, and says, "I want you to say whatever you want to say to me, um . . . but it wouldn't just be Michael's child, it would be my child." She seems distracted in these scenes, almost zonked; I can't tell if it's on purpose or if Eden is really out of it. Did she just wake up or something? Erica agrees with Bianca, but she wants her to "think what it would be like to have Michael Cambias's child always at your side and . . . in your arms." Binks takes a long time to reply that the baby wouldn't just be a reminder of the father, but also "his or her own person." Yeah, she definitely seems out of it and unsure of what she's saying. Eden, girlfriend, are you subverting the narrative? Good on you if you are. It's easy to imagine Bianca speaking those lines with the firm voice of righteousness that she so often deploys, and that may have been what the writers were imagining when they penned the scene, but she doesn't sound like WithIt!Binky at all, and perhaps that's a choice that Eden has made. Erica agrees with Binks again, but she stresses that the kid would "always [be] a reminder of its father—of Michael Cambias and how he raped [Bianca]."

Bianca tells Erica she understands what she went through with Kendall and "hurt[s] for [Erica] as much as [she] hurt[s] for [her]self"; she even thinks she's luckier than Erica, because Erica repressed her memories of the rape until Kendall came to town, whereas she will have a lot of help dealing with her rape and could "learn to look past the pain" when she sees her child. "Oh," Erica says, "I know that you are so brave, and I know that you think that you are strong enough, but I'm telling you, honey, it's always there. The terror, the injustice. And because of that, the baby—who you want to love, and a big part of you does love that baby—but I'm telling you, honey, it's just always there. You're just never sure if that baby is gonna grow up to be just as monstrous, just as destructive as its father, as the man who violated you." Jarringly, the synthesized music crashes down on that last emphasized word.

Bianca tells Erica that she knows how she feels, "but it's not rational. I mean, Michael is . . . he is what he is. But whatever is wrong with him, I don't believe it is hereditary, and I believe that we could instill different values into this child." "We could try," Erica agrees gently. "But I don't think that you fully realize how difficult, impossible, it is to forget what's already happened." Binks allows how she's not sure she'll ever be pregnant again (what?!), so Erica stresses that people get artificially inseminated all the time—yeah, hasn't Binky seen If These Walls Could Talk 2?—and when they do that, they can "choose the perfect father for their baby." Binks: "All right, but do they have perfect children? Perfect babies who grow up to be perfect adults who never do anything wrong, or monstrous?" Duh, no, but it's not as though Binks will never be pregnant again if she wants to have kids and, ergo, she has to take what she can get! This is a bizarre diversion from the main discussion here. Like who believes Bianca doesn't know about artificial insemination? Was she thinking she'd have to lay Boyd or somebody if she wanted to have a kid? The hell? Anyway. No, Erica can't say that artificial insemination produces perfect people. "Nobody can say that," Binks continues, "but I don't believe that a person is good or bad based solely on their parents' DNA." She crosses and stands pensively. Erica tries to regroup, then remarks that it seems as though Binks is "leaning in a certain direction." She's not, Binks says quickly; she still has a lot to consider. "I mean, the fact is that if I had this baby I would have a real, lifelong connection to Michael Cambias himself." Erica agrees. Bianca continues: "And he's gone now, but I would always be worried that he would come back to town and that he would try to claim his child." "No! No. No," Erica assures her. "I swear to you, that will never happen." Getting a whiff that Erica knows something, Binks wonders how she can swear that. Erica looks caught. "How do you know that Michael Cambias is never coming back?" Binks presses. Commercials.

Bianca is still suspicious. "Mom, you didn't do something to Michael Cambias, did you?" she asks. "Do something?" Erica says nervously. "No." Heh. Brilliant line delivery by Lucci-san—you can't tell whether Erica is lying through her teeth or excoriating herself for not having done something. So Binks wants to know why she's so sure Michael is never coming back. Her reply? "Because I'm telling you, if he ever showed his face here again, if he caused you one more moment's anguish, I swear, I would take a gun and I would shoot him." Bianca doesn't like this, but Erica swears that she would: "If he ever tried to hurt you again, I would kill him!" Upset, Binks tells her not to say that and walks rapidly from the room.

Bianca is sitting on Erica's bed, and Erica sits beside her. She tells Binks how adoption was her only option when she was pregnant with Kendall, and that Mona arranged everything and found a "wonderful" family for Kendall in Florida—"but we gave Kendall wounds that I just don't believe she will ever, ever get over." "It doesn't have to be that way," Bianca says. "There are millions of happy adoption stories." Very true. Erica agrees but says that the trouble is that you can't know how it's going to work out "until it's too late." She mentions the health risks, too, and Bianca's anorexia, but Binks assures her she spoke to "the doctor" about it and got the all-clear, assuming she stays in recovery. Erica assumes the booklets say that most pregnant rape victims opt for abortion, and Bianca confirms it but rightly says that it's "their choice." At this moment, Kendall enters quietly through the front door of the penthouse. Back in the bedroom, Erica tells Binks to "put [her]self first for once in [her] life." "You're talking about putting myself ahead of my own child," Binks replies, "that's really hard." Erica understands but thinks Bianca needs to focus on survival, trying to recover both physically and emotionally. As she talks, Kendall hears their voices and crosses through the living room, goes into the anteroom, and listens by the bedroom door, which stands slightly ajar. "And as difficult as this choice is, honey," Erica continues, "it would mean that your ordeal would be over, honey, it would be over—once and for all." Kendall listens. Commercials.

Kendall continues to eavesdrop on the Erica-Bianca Abortion Summit. Erica declares she understands how difficult the choice is, but Bianca knows she "ha[s] an opinion." She thinks Erica wants her "to end this." Erica sees no reason why Binks "should have to go through the pain that [she] did," and finally admits, as Kendall stands outside, that she does think Bianca should "terminate this pregnancy."

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