DykesVision / TV shows / All My Children / Recaps / October 23

written by Margaret Royal

Love, Lies and Voldemort

Episode Recaps

Friday, October 24, 2003

Episode summary: Kendall is plumb furious at Aidan for suggesting that she still has feelings for Ryan, but she does, much to our chagrin; JR catches on that Jamie and Babe conspired to steal a cow prop; Babe tears up Adam's buyoff check; Greenlee and Ryan make kissy before she starts to get her memory back; Tad and Juan Pablo give Mary Smythe a good chewing out for leaking Carlos's story to the Exposer, and Simone lays down a killer bitchslap; Greenlee and Jack and Greenlee and Juan Pablo share some sweet moments.

Angry!Kendall stalks up to her condo door, retrievers her mail, goes inside, and slams the door behind her. She pitches the mail to the floor and rips off her overshirt in fury. There's insistent knocking, and Kendall yells for Aidan to go to hell. After another fruitless exchange, he kicks the door in. He tells Kendall she can call the police, but he only needs five minutes to say his piece.

As JR looks on thoughtfully! and perceptively!, Benny of Benny's Beef & Bun rehashes with Brooke about somebody driving her car—somebody accompanied by a young missy—stealing his cow sign. JR asks him to describe the girl, and Benny almost says she was "built like a brick house" but keeps the simile in check.

At the Chandler manse, Babe is surprised to see Jamie, who doesn't want to leave her alone with crafty Adam O'Moneybags. Instead of accepting his help, though, Babe turns back to Adam and says that his check is too small—"two zeroes short."

At the hospital, Tad reads the National Exposer story about Juan Pablo and Carlos and wonders how it got out so fast. Edmund remarks that if the Calatravas get hold of it, everyone at the hospital is in danger. Tad goes off to "plug a leak," and Maria walks up to Edmund wondering what's going on. He explains and suggests she drop Carlos like a hot, wooden potato. Maria refuses, since he's her patient.

Juan Pablo walks into Greenlee's room as she continues to stroke Ryan's hair. She doesn't recognize him but likes the sight of him and guesses he's post-1999. Ryan explains the memory lapse for JP's benefit; JP understands and makes to leave, but Greens cries out that she remembers him. Commercials.

Aidan refuses to leave until Kendall talks to him about Ryan, as he wonders why the subject gets her so riled. She animatedly denies that she has feelings for Ryan and swears that she's completely over him.

Greenlee thinks she remembers Juan Pablo because they played polo together, but then realizes she doesn't play, so it must just be JP. She asks if he knows Ryan, to which JP replies, "well enough." Greens gathers that she and JP have had an affair, and JP says that they've had misunderstandings but will clear them up when she's well enough. He goes, Greenlee asks Ryan where they were, and he says it's sometime in 1999, so they nose-nuzzle for a little bit. Gah.

Brooke is still unsure about the cow thing, and Benny gets ready to go, but JR asks him to name his price again, then pays it—$500—in cash. Benny goes; Brooke is uncomfortable with this payoff, but JR says he'll talk to Jamie, and if he's not behind the cowjacking, no biggie. He makes to leave, but Opal is on her way in. Opal comments on last night's dinner and again gushes over young Babe. JR scoots, leaving the dames to chat about him. Brooke thinks he and Adam are a lot alike.

So Babe wants a $10 million check, basically. Jamie is confused. Adam writes out what he considers a sufficient amount and hands it over. Babe compares him to Blake Carrington (a character from Dynasty, I presume?) and, taking another page from her fave show, rips the check to pieces and lets them fall in front of her like confetti. She refuses to go anywhere without JR and gives Adam another big hug as Jamie watches.

Tad and Juan Pablo accost Mary in the solarium/waiting area with a copy of the Exposer, but she plays dumb, then, with some pressure, owns up. Tad seems to threaten her with bodily harm by dropping her off the sundeck; he grabs her, holding her in his arms like a new bride. Commercials.

Babe crows over her theatrics and declares that Adam's and Jamie's "fancy schools" couldn't prepare them for her "TV training." I wonder if Babe knows about Adam's Pigeon Holler past yet. And will Adam's humble beginnings ever be brought up? You have to assume that his feelings about his own past are influencing his reaction to Babe one way or the other. Anyway, Babe claims again to love JR and says that he didn't want to come home, but she convinced him to reconnect with his family. Blah blah antagonism until JR walks in and wonders what's going on and why Jamie is involved.

Tad finally puts Mary down, at her request, and then Juan Pablo traps her in a chair with his Black Suit of Brotherly Vengeance. Shaking an angry finger, he reams her out in Spanish as Mary actually looks kind of freaked. "I don't exactly habla, but I swear your life isn't worth a plugged nickel," Tad says, sitting down next to her. Mary says JP can't hurt her, but Tad informs her otherwise and says that if she were a man, she'd already be dead. "That's right," JP seethes. Mary's reply? "This isn't some backward country, this is the United States of America!" Hee! Ah, that line was beautifully, diva-ishly delivered by Anna Stuart. JP tells Mary that the people after Carlos will kill everybody at Pine Valley Hospital to get to him, so Mary suggests that JP have him moved, which almost makes JP lose it and really throw her out the window as Tad threatened to do. Tad restrains him, and Mary holds a finger to his face and says that he wouldn't dare, then turns to leave and repeats it for effect—but here comes Simone, who stalks into the room and lays down a wicked bitchsmack. "No, but I sure would," she glares.

Kendall defends herself to Aidan by saying that Ryan gets her so angry because he's after her companies and even wants to frame her for Michael's murder, but Aidan disagrees on the last point. Even if that's true, Kendall says, she still hates Ryan and also hates being told how she feels about people, Erica and Ryan included. She tells Aidan he's already screwing up, but he thinks he just sees through her, and he doesn't want again to fall into the trap of loving a woman who is "still stuck in the past and won't face it." Hee, Kendall calls Maria "Mauria" and says that this is about Aidan's issues, not hers. He tells her she always hides her feelings, and he wants to love her, but he's afraid he'll wake up in four weeks to find she's gone off with Ryan.

Ryan kisses Greenlee but hesitates until she tells him to "live for the moment." He agrees and they kiss some more. They pause, enjoying themselves, then Greens opens her eyes as if seeing him for the first time and shoves him off the bed. Hee! Commercials.

Greenlee curses Ryan and feebly slaps him on the side of the face. She's angry at him for betraying Kendall, because she thinks it's 2002. Ryan tries to defend himself and explain, but she's not buying it and continues to give him feeble slaps. Rebecca Budig is totally bringing the subtlety funny. Cameron Mathison, are you taking notes? Ryan is offended at Greenlee's suggestion that he might trick women to get into bed with him and declares that he neither wants nor remotely likes her, then leaves. "But I do love somebody," she says, now alone. "I can feel it. Who could it be?" On cue, Jackson and his high pants come into the room. He's excited to see her, and they chat sweetly for a while, and then she realizes he's her father. Awwww.

Aidan thinks he and Kendall are a great combo (amen, brother!) but also thinks that Kendall has stuff to figure out. She mockingly suggests she sleep with Ryan first and then choose, and he accepts this, if that's what it takes. Kendall thinks he's "full of it," so he suggests she call him when she's got it figured out. He leaves, noting the busted door, and Kendall looks utterly confused by his refusal to engage her further.

At the hospital, Simone wrangles a shrieking Mary for a few moments before Ms. Smythe finally flees in terror. "If there is any karmic justice . . ." Simone begins. "She'll get hers. Sooner rather than later. It's coming," Tad replies.

Up in Carlos's room, Maria gives Unconscious!Carless some encouraging words and steps outside with Edmund. She apologizes for being "snarky" with Ed and reminds him of what he said to her a couple of weeks ago about Carlos's predicament being like her sister Julia's. Edmund finally agrees.

Opal and Brooke chat about JR and Babe. They mention "last night," and for once on this show, they're being accurate about elapsed time. Blah. Opal notices the golden cow charm bracelet that Jamie dropped in the garbage and brings it to Brooke's attention.

JR is annoyed that Jamie is at his house and not at school (Jamie explains he came looking for his missing PDA) and wants to know what's going on; Babe shows him the check shreds. Jamie looks uncomfortable. JR is pissed but hardly surprised, but Adam claims his scheme has succeeded: "Babe passed my test with flying colors." He gives her a big hug and welcomes her to the fam. Jamie and JR look skeptical; Adam looks shifty. Commercials.

Adam claims to be "relieved" by Babe's response, as JR remains skeptical, and he sits down to write another check to both of them. Babe is skeptical, too, now. JR reminds us all that he's going to be running Chandler Enterprises, supposedly, under Ryan. Adam plays benevolent and leaves. Jamie wants to follow for his Spanish class, but JR asks him to wait. Jamie and Babe get nervous as JR goes off and says he'll be back soon. Babe thinks they should "stay tuned," which Jamie inexplicably doesn't understand. The point was to show that Babe is so TV-saturated that she talks in a language and behaves in a way that none of the other characters do, but who wouldn't know what "stay tuned" means? Who would even notice when somebody says it? Whatever. The two of them confirm that neither tipped JR off about their tryst from the other night.

Greenlee tells Jack about her dream with Roger in it. He tells her she's successful, smart, and has scores of friends, and also says that Roger was clueless, but Greens still thinks some of what he said made sense. Jack is relieved and happy that she's alive. Awww.

Evidently, Tad has procured the services of a security company. Juan Pablo leaves to check on Carlos, so Timone find themselves alone in the waiting area. Simone is randy and wants to get together, but Tad has a lot to do, including with Jamie and JR, so they make a rain check and kiss.

At home, Furious!Kendall tosses a potted plant to the ground and shuts her broken door. She goes to a bureau and pulls out Ryan's ring on a chain, setting up a flashback to when he proposed. Kendall stares at the ring and is broken from her reverie by movement outside in the courtyard. Ryan is poking around outside Michael's condo, for some reason, and Kendall asks him in. He's a jerk but finally obliges. Commercials.

Greenlee and Jack discuss Lily; Greens wants to meet her. Hee, she also whines for Jack to get her a 2% cappuccino with no cinnamon. He obliges. Awww, they're very cute together. Alone now, Greens says to herself, "Roger. What does he know about all the other men in my life?" She thinks a bit, then sits up, startled. "Oh my God."

Babe and Jamie discuss the JR sitch, but Babe keeps a bit cooler than Jamie, apparently because she watches a lot of TV. JR finally comes in with the cow and wonders how they could have stolen it if they hadn't met each other until last night. I so don't care.

Over the phone, Office!Adam demands that somebody get info on Babe—he's only got her first name, basically, and the tidbit that she and JR met in San Diego.

Jack returns to Greenlee's room with cappucinos, but she's not there.

Juan Pablo wanders into the waiting area looking for Tad, but he's not there, either. He goes to make himself some free coffee when Greenlee scoots in attired in robe, gown, and slippers. She's remembered him and pulls him to her for a kiss.

Ryan wants to know what Kendall wanted to talk about, and she stutters and stammers a little before finally just pulling him into a kiss. He pulls away; Kendall demands he kiss her again, so they do. "He was right," Kendall gasps, and she wonders if Ryan felt it, too. He feels it, and Kendall pulls him back in.

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