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written by Margaret Royal
Love, Lies and Voldemort
Episode Recaps
Tuesday, August 12, 2003
On the Atlantic City beach, in the storm, Jackson smiles, holding Greenlee tight and reassuring her that he's got her. She snaps her head up and tells him to put her down. He does, but she grandstands about the bad weather instead of being worried about it, so he grabs her again and carries her off as she shrieks.
Up in Juan Pablo's hotel room doorway, JP smiles in surprise at Carlos and asks how he found him. Carless pushes him back into the room, shuts the door, and says that it was "way too easy." "Nobody knows," JP says. Carless spits that JP wasn't supposed "to be anywhere near" him—"that was the deal, don't you remember that?" JP protests that he had a reason; Carless says, hee, "damn your reasons; do you have a death wish?" Ohmigod, y'all, Carless is so sexy when he's angry. And so mysterious! Somebody tell me what's going on!
Alexander Cambias's hospital room. Ryan thinks that Alexander is probably not thinking clearly, because what he just said to Ryan is "a little out there," but Daddy Cambs thinks he's with it enough and that Ryan has no say in it. "You will grant me this final request." Ryan looks wide-eyed.
Bianca is back at Erica's penthouse and a little confused by the reception Erica and Kendall gave her when she came home. Erica, relieved that she's okay, runs to her and hugs her. Bianca wonders why she wouldn't be okay, and Erica mentions the multiple messages; she didn't know where Binks was. Binks says her phone was turned off, and mentions Boyd, but there's a thunderclap outside, which startles her. Affecting composure again, she asks if Jack might have called, and they rescheduled the wedding. Erica b.s.es that she thought they could have dinner together. Bianca declines; she wants to go to bed. Erica tries to find out where she was and what she was doing, but Binks brushes her off: "Mom, in the morning, okay? I just need to crash." She strides off to her room without acknowledging Kendall. Damn. "The storm . . . she's terrified, like me," Erica says to Kendall. She covers her face with her hands and sits down. "I can't believe this. I can't believe this is happening to my baby." Kendall says that Erica doesn't know that Michael did anything to Binks. Still, Erica definitely thinks that "something has her running scared." Kendall offers the disclaimer that she's "not a shrink" but wonders if Erica might be "projecting [her] own fears onto Bianca." Just in case we didn't get it, there's a thunderclap outside, and Erica whips around. She flashes back to Michael attacking her—God, it's ugly. Let's replay him pinning her to the couch in her office, flipping her over, threatening her as she screams for help, asking her if she'll "take it lying down," and removing his belt, but for God's sake, we can't have the lesbians kiss more than once. Freaked, Erica snaps out of the reverie, turns to Kendall, and yells at her to "get out of [her] house, right now!" Jesus Christ, is she hallucinating again? They should run a PSA about how rape victims in their fifties often hallucinate that the person sitting across from them is an attacker. Commercials.
Fusion. Mia asks Simone, pulling take-out from a paper bag, how her "search for true love" went tonight. It didn't go so well, but Mia says that at least they have Bullshit tapes. They bullshit about Bullshit. Terri Ivens and Amelia Heinle both look embarrassed by their lines. Simone recaps about the IRS debt and hopes they won't "be modeling orange jumpsuits." They decide to check their numbers again and make sure a "fairy godmother" miracle didn't happen to their account. Tapping a few keys on the laptop in front of her, Simone looks startled. "Well, bibbity bobbity boo," she gasps. Mia runs over to look. Turns out there was an electronic transfer of $500,000. "God bless you, fairy godmother!" Simone cries.
Naturally, we next see UglyShirt!Michael sitting at his laptop confirming the transfer of funds "from a secret admirer." He picks up a copy of the Pine Valley Bulletin showing the Fusionettes in white dresses and with a headline about Bullshit (wishful thinking, Frons?) and smarms, "The babes of Fusion are now mine." He brings his fingers to his lips, kisses them, and presses them to the paper. "Surprise, Kendall! Ready or not, I'm baaaack!" Lightning crashes.
Kendall apologizes to Erica if she said anything to upset her. Erica seems to realize where she is and says that she should be apologizing to Kendall. "I did not mean to bark at you like that." Kendall says it's okay and that they're a little on edge; she thinks the storm reminds Erica of her own rape. Erica "refuse[s] to be a victim, but Kendall says that it's okay to be afraid and asks her to let her help her the way she did the last time. Erica crosses back towards her and says that she can't "fall apart every time a cloud rumbles," since she needs to "stay strong for Bianca." She needs to find out if Michael "hurt [Bianca]," and Kendall supplies, "what he tried to do to you and me." Erica says that Bianca has "always been so naïve" and "trusting," but Kendall thinks Binks is "a lot stronger than [Erica] give[s] her credit for." A fittingly meta comment, Kendall, what with the Bianca character assassination necessary to write this stupid storyline. Erica says that Kendall doesn't know Bianca the way she does. Kendall suggests that they both go talk to Binks together, but Erica thinks it's not a good idea—"in fact, I know she wouldn't open up in front of you, no, I have to do it alone." Poor Kendall; her face totally falls. But she says she'll go. Erica wants to make sure she understands, and she says she does, and suggests that Erica call her if she needs anything. Erica sees her out. Outside the door, Kendall says, "you are not getting away with this, Michael." She strides away.
Inside, as the lightning and thunder crash, Erica composes herself and moves out into the living room but is practically mowed down by Pajamas!Bianca (beater and yoga pants) flying out of her room. Wow, Eden Riegel does a really good terrified run. Binks says that she wanted to make sure that Erica locked the door. She hurries to lock it herself, and of course flashes back to Michael locking the doors at Myrtle's. Back in realtime, she looks breathless and harried, and her eyes dart like crazy. Erica comes up behind her, reassures her that there's nothing to be afraid of from the storm, and puts a hand on her bare arm. Binks flinches and flashes back to Michael grabbing her as she tried to run away, her asking him to let go of her, and him apologizing for frightening her and telling her that there was nothing to be worried about—as lightning flashed upon his face, naturally. Now Bianca's eyes are wetter than before, and Erica asks her if she's all right. She doesn't respond and is looking a little crazy. Commercials.
In Atlantic City, Juan Pablo tells Carlos that his job is to keep the Less alive. Carless says he "can take care of [him]self; [he] always ha[s] and [he] always will." Is this supposed to be a parallel with Greenlee or something? Because, really, drop it, writers. JP wonders if Carlos's care of the self includes going on a TV commercial. "You saw that?" Carlos asks stupidly. And I don't just mean that it was a stupid question. He looks like he's trying to remember his own name. JP replies that "the whole world saw it. Via the miracle of satellite TV"—hence, his presence. Less protests that the ad was "all spur of the moment and fun." Carlos is dumb. He says he wasn't thinking. "You must always think, Carlos," JP replies, moving closer. "Never let your guard down. Never. Or you will end up dead. And you are much too young." Carlos pledges to be "more careful" in the future, but JP thinks that Pine Valley isn't safe for him anymore. Carlos will have none of it and stands up. JP sits him back down, telling him they can't take chances, and that they're leaving tonight. Please, God, let it be so. Or maybe let Carlos go and keep JP here? JP is cool with me. Just get rid of Less.
In pouring rain, Jack helps Greenlee limp towards the door of a shingled buildling. He calls out and bangs on the door. It's apparently a restaurant, and it's empty. Oh, but they open the door anyway. Greenlee bitches about wanting to go back to the hotel instead of "this dump," and a man in an apron and cap comes out with a flashlight, apologizing that they're closed due to a power outage. Jack wonders if he could "give two pilgrims some shelter from the storm," hands him some cash, and also requests clam chowder and coffee. He takes a match and lights candles for the table. Greenlee makes for the door, but Jack ridicules the idea of heading back. Instead, he asks about how she "ended up on those rocks." "I was congratulating God for His sense of . . . humor," she replies. At which point He "got [her] with the rock." Jack wonders if she didn't do it to herself. "You know, every last one of us needs saving sometime." Jack certainly gets in a lot of indirect (and direct) God references on this show. Anyway, "shows how well you know me," Greens replies. "Shows how much I'd like to," Jack says back, raking his hand through his sopping hair. Greens takes notice, but she's cold, too. Jack grabs her a cardigan that's hanging on a hatstand and tries to put it around her shoulders. She flings it away. Jack tells her to save her fight "for the later rounds"; Greens snarks that she's "got an absentee father and a manager." "You've really been through the wringer, haven't you?" Jack asks. Greens makes a noise. "Now I know why you made Law Review." Jack wonders if he should apologize for "that little bout of tough love out there," but she, on the other hand, thinks "love had nothing to do with it." "I was worried to death about you," he says. "And that's the God's honest truth." See? Greens thinks she's been taking care of herself all her life; Jack thinks that's a shame. He wonders if they're going to snipe at each other all night, because he "like[s] a good fight—that's why [he's] such a good trial lawyer." Hee, hee hee. Oh, they're killing with the comedy today! Greens tells him that she knows "the whole spiel," and how he's supposed to say that if he had known about her all along, things would have been different, that she was conceived out of love, and that he wants a "chance to make up for all the long, lost years." Actually, Jack says, he was thinking she could tell him what she needs from him. He asks her to tell him, and he'll give it to her if he can. Greens looks at him.
In his condo, Michael is on the phone with the hospital in Las Vegas. He learns that Daddy Cambs is "stabilized," and he doesn't want to leave a message. He hangs up and says, "Damn, you old man, you just never know when to let go, do you?" There's a knock at the door, and he goes to answer it. It's Kendall, whom he says he's been expecting. She storms in. "What in the hell did you do to my sister?" she demands.
Speaking of, Erica leads her away from the door, telling her not to be afraid, since it's just the two of them. Bianca flashes back to telling Michael that there were people upstairs in the house, and Michael replying that there weren't; he had checked, there was no need to lie, and they would be together for a while. Binks gasps, wrenches away from Erica, telling her not to touch her, but trips on the coffee table. She flashes back again, this time to telling Michael he should get some therapy, which angered him, so he threw his lemonade glass. Match cut to an overturned water glass on the penthouse carpet. Erica tells her it's all right, turns her around to look at her, and tells her to take a deep breath and try to relax. Bianca stares at her terrified and flashes back again. This time, Michael is drawing her to him to dance; he tells her to close her eyes, maybe pretend he's Lena. Binks snatches her hands away from Erica and backs up against the couch arm. "Get away from me," she says. "You're not her. You'll never be her." "Bianca, it's me," Erica says, "it's Mommy." Binks climbs off the couch and knocks over one of the end tables before crouching tearfully near the fireplace. "I'm not going to let you do this to me again. I won't drink your damn lemonade. I won't dance with you. I won't let you inside me." Gah, could they exploit this any more? Erica begs Bianca to come back and tells her that she's "home" and "safe." Binks is backed up against the fireplace, and she flashes back to Michael throwing her onto the couch, pinning her down with his knee, and trying to roll up his sleeve before she kicked him away, ran and grabbed a poker, and raised it to strike him. Now, backed up against Erica's fireplace, she reaches out, grabs one of the pokers, and raises it up. "No, Bianca, no! No, honey!" Erica yells. Poor Susan Lucci. Poor Eden Riegel. Commercials.
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